“Julian of Norwich (c. 8 November 1342 – c. 1416) was an English anchoress and mystic. Her Revelations of Divine Love, written around 1395, is the first book in the English language known to have been written by a woman… When she was 30 and living at home, Julian suffered from a serious illness. Since she was presumed to be near death, her curate came to administer the last rites of the Catholic Church on 8 May 1373. As part of the ritual, he held a crucifix in the air above the foot of her bed. Julian reported that she was losing her sight and felt physically numb, but as she gazed on the crucifix she saw the figure of Jesus begin to bleed. Over the next several hours, she had a series of sixteen visions of Christ, which ended by the time she recovered from her illness on 13 May 1373. Julian wrote about her visions immediately after they had happened… in a version of the Revelations of Divine Love” (Wikipedia).
GOD showed me two kinds of sickness that we have, of which he wishes us to be cured: one is impatience, because our trouble and our suffering are heavy for us to bear; the other is despair or doubting fear, as I shall explain later. And these are the two which most trouble and disturb us, according to what our Lord showed me, and the ones from which he is most pleased if we reform. I am talking of such men and women who for the love of God hate sin and dispose themselves to do God’s will.
Then these are two secret sins and most beset us. Therefore it is God’s will that they should be recognized, and then we shall reject them as we do other sins. And so our Lord very humbly revealed to me what patience he had in his cruel Passion, and also the joy and the delight that he has in that Passion because of love. And he showed me this by way of example that we should bear our sufferings gladly and wisely, for that is greatly pleasing to him and eternal benefit to us. And the reason why we are troubled by them is because of our failure to recognize love.
Although the Persons in the blessed Trinity are all equal in attributes, love was revealed to me most of all—that it is closest to us all, and that we are most blind in recognizing this. For many men and women believe that God is almighty and may do everything, and that he is all wisdom and knows how to do everything, but that he is all love and is willing to do everything—there they stop short. And it is this ignorance that most hinders those who love God, for when they begin to hate sin, and to reform themselves according to the laws of Holy Church, there still persists a fear that moves them to dwell upon themselves and their sins committed in the past. And they take this fear for humility, but it is a reprehensible blindness and a weakness, and we cannot despise it, yet if we recognized it we should at once despise it, as we do any other sin that we recognize, for it comes from the enemy and it is contrary to truth.
For of all the attributes of the blessed Trinity, it is God’s will that we find most certainty in delight and love. For love makes power and wisdom very humble towards us; for just as through his courtesy God forgets our sin from the time we repent, so he wishes us to forget our sin, and all our depression, and all our doubting fears.
Julian of Norwich. Revelations of Divine Love. New translation by Barry Windeatt. (Oxford World’s Classics) (pp. 34-35). OUP Oxford.